E92: Belonging and Healing [Part 3] – Language of Belonging

Dr. Dave:

All right. Hello and welcome to the KnolShare with Dr. Dave Podcast. This is Dr. Dave Cornelius, your host. We're continuing a conversation of belonging and healing with my guest, Tracy Treacy from D & S Healing Center.

Tracy:

Woo.

Dr. Dave:

Yay, the thing is when we talk about sticks and stones can break my bones, but words could never harm me, to me that's just partially true because words matter. I think words can be harmful, especially for people in need of belonging, and even if they don't have a need for belonging, I think words can be harmful. And so for me, the word that always shows up is the N-word, which I think is a harmful word, and I said, no matter if it ends with A, personally, I don't want to continue to prolong long the use of a word that has been used to dehumanize my family and community, and other people may have a different opinion, but that's where I stand and I'm sticking to it. What about you, Tracy? What word rubs you the wrong way?

Tracy:

That's what you feel and you're sticking with it.

Dr. Dave:

That's right, it's all about that.

Tracy:

I don't know if a word rubs me the wrong way. I think it's the intention behind the word that gets me, or who it's coming from because if somebody off the street calls me something or says something to me that I'm like, "You know what, maybe they're having a bad day." I got a little bit more empathy and compassion for them, but if somebody who loves me and is part of my space where I feel like I belong, and they say something, that probably hits deeper than any... The N-word... I don't know, maybe I'm just numb to it. I've heard it so many times, it's like what the F ever.

Dr. Dave:

Right.

Tracy:

That's not my issue that you're calling me that, or that you think that, that's your issue, but when someone says, or has some meaning beside something that loves me or that say they love me, then that hurts, that affects me.

Dr. Dave:

I could totally relate to that. So, I was reading something from MIT recently and a study that they did, they were talking about we crave relationships in the same region of the brain that we crave food, that's belonging, and we experience social exclusion in the same brain area that we experience physical pain. So, what I'm thinking about is language is very powerful and we could use it to divide us, unite us and sharing the same language build camaraderie between individuals and it helps us support the shared knowledge base and words used. So, what language can be used to encourage more belonging in your opinion?

Tracy:

That's a lot.

Dr. Dave:

I know it is.

Tracy:

What came to my brain immediately is the language of love, and I guess what I mean by that is when you... And, we don't always do this because we're not always in a place to be conscious or mindful enough to do it, but speaking from the heart, as opposed to waiting to hear what someone's saying, being present, all of those things that we talk about in mindfulness, being present in the moment, taking a breath before you respond and then respond from a place of love, that's what came to mind for me, to me it's that simple. And in order to respond from a place of love, we may have to feel that we've been loved and we are loved, so that we can give and receive it, and I guess that goes back to that belonging.

Dr. Dave:

Love is one of my favorite words because my translation of it is very biblical in the sense that I'm talking about being patient and kind, and if I could bring those two aspects of my humanity into the conversation, into the environment, the space, then that's the work that we need to do to help, to encourage belonging. So for this year, my word for 2022 is kindness, and so that's going to be the mantra that I'll be chanting all the way through December 31st of 2022.

Tracy:

All right, so I can always remind you when you're being a butthead, I can go, "Kindness."

Dr. Dave:

Yeah.

Tracy:

All right.

Dr. Dave:

You could always bring it up deal and I will work my way back into the great plan of being kind.

Tracy:

Yes.

Dr. Dave:

I'll poke you with the same thing, do you have a word that you want to claim for 2022?

Tracy:

I haven't thought of it in the context of having a word to cling to for the year. I don't know-

Dr. Dave:

Not embrace?

Tracy:

I guess it's the other word, maybe patience because I think I may have been wired within an over-abundance of patience and that's something I always continue to have, grace and patience with others, so maybe patience for self.

Dr. Dave:

Well, you need both, just like you need love for self to be able to love others. You need patience with oneself to be patient with others. It's so interesting that we have to give something to ourselves, so we know what the experience is like to give it to others if we can.

Tracy:

How else are we, right? And, then that's the hardest thing for a lot of people is to treat themselves with kindness and patience and grace, and our behaviors aren't always clean and we respond unconsciously to a lot of things, but we don't know how that's affecting other people and part of all of that is that being able to hear from other people how my actions affect you with patience, with kindness, with all of those things as well because shit, we're human.

Dr. Dave:

Yep.

Tracy:

It's always a journey and a thing.

Dr. Dave:

We probably will come up with an AI that's capable of doing all of that stuff consistently.

Tracy:

Oh God.

Dr. Dave:

I know I would get that response back from you.

Tracy:

Oh my God.

Dr. Dave:

I knew I would.

Tracy:

Patience, I'm having patience with you, yes, [crosstalk 00:07:41] patience.

Dr. Dave:

The language of belonging to me is a tone of invitation, this voice of acceptance and maybe a sound of empathy, and I was just thinking about some of the language that I may have used with my kids and at times where I had to go back and apologize. Oh my God, I'm sorry that I've traumatized you, and maybe not make you feel like you belong. And so, I'm going like... Thinking about the language that abuse of my kids at time and how also... Because there's two sides of it, there's one side of it we're helping them to create this stable sense of identity, so that they become capable adults, and then there's the other side of it is where I've used those language that I've had to go back and apologize. So, I'm thinking about how could we, or how would we introduce language and help people to find their way forward? Because to me, it's building a stable sense of identity, enabling them to become capable adults is part of helping them to find a way forward. So, what do you think?

Tracy:

I want to just applaud what you said, and I think that's something that needs to be highlighted and needs to be validated is that when we harm our children in some kind of way, when we say something that is hurtful, that we go back and apologize, and as parents we don't feel like we need to apologize sometimes because we're the parent, and it's really difficult to hear that from somebody we love and we've made so many... The word sacrifice has such a negative connotation, but love sacrifices. We've made so many allowances in our lives to provide space for these beings that we're responsible for that when we harm that being, it's so difficult to hear it from them because they may not always have a language to share with us that they've been harmed, and it may come off and out a way that we are not ready to hear it.

Tracy:

And, then we as parents go, "We're the authority. You're not supposed to talk to me like that," or something, that kind of garbage, instead of just being like, "Wow, this little person's human, maybe little, but they're human." And, to have that space of respect to be like, "Shoot, that was really jacked up what I said or my response was not what I really meant," those kind of things and really apologizing. So, I applaud that because that's not a regular thing for us to hear that parents apologize to their children.

Dr. Dave:

Well, and I would say sometimes in the type of family that we may have grown up in and how our parents were affected by their upbringing... I grew up in the West Indies and I keep telling people that you grew up in the West Indies,

Dr. Dave:

The language there could be harsh sometimes from parents and over time I've learned that it's a form of protection, and because they're like, oh my God, we have come through this trauma of slavery and all of the other negative things that comes from that, that it's a sense of protectionism with some of the harsh language that in a way they're thinking about how it helps move you forward. Right? Preparing you for the rough world.

Tracy:

Right. So that gets to that back to the other part of that and do we support people to help them move forward? And because of certain backgrounds of people and experiences and ancestral legacies, and I get because you said slavery, I can go in that space, right. Because of the slave experience, there's also learned behaviors that we've gotten from being enslaved that we transfer into our systems and our life with harsh language and corporal punishment and things like that. So from that survival space, we feel we're really helping strengthen our offspring to get out into the world to be able to handle stuff, which is about that, right, that protectiveness, when with all that loving stuff that comes with that, that needs to be equally as stressed as the other stuff. And I think that's where some of that, how I can help move, like if we're talking about our kids, right, how do I keep that discipline thing going yet let them know that I love them no matter what and I got their back?

Tracy:

And this might sound a little hokey and this is something that's just in pop culture that I'm going to throw in is about the love languages. Right? If you know your child's love language, then maybe that is a way to help them to begin to have ownership, to feel like they belong to themselves and they can belong in community. And that can maybe help support them to move forward.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah, because one thing I will say to my son, right, is that look, I love you from the day that I saw you being born and I love you to this day and I just give him a big hug. I said, no matter what you do, no matter what, no matter what you say, just know that I love you from the deepest core of who I am. And to me, just that in terms of wherever he's stuck, it helps to move him forward.

Tracy:

And I'm just going to add to that because we live in such a world that's so visual and no matter how you look, I'm going to love you. Right. Because physically we could... And I guess I'm saying that more as a woman, because of how much pressure is put on how women are supposed to look and all the things that society puts onto us as attractive, right? And no matter how my child looks, I'm going to love them and let them know that. Right? In addition to, as a parent, right, there's that fine line of I really love you, but I want you to be healthy too. We do that thing in our brains, right?

Dr. Dave:

Yeah, I get that. I'm glad you put your earrings on, so no matter how you look.

Tracy:

Exactly, right?

Dr. Dave:

Exactly, right?

Tracy:

Exactly. That presentation. Yep.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah.

Tracy:

And here I am plucking at my hair-

Dr. Dave:

I hear you.

Tracy:

All the things, yeah.

Dr. Dave:

You got to do it.

Tracy:

Yeah.

Dr. Dave:

So works place, I think that shared language enables us to build a sustainable community that's welcoming. So I was thinking of quoting Adam Grant and he said, "A workplace is a community, a place where people bond around shared values, feel valued as human beings and have a voice in decisions that affect them." So to me, where we're talking about culture, so I'm saying what are some ways that language help to shape culture that enables belonging?

Tracy:

Yeah, so I was just going to backpedal what I said, no matter what you look like, I just want you to be healthy too. That had nothing to do with any type of anything except for psychological health, right. Because you can look at a person and be like, ooh, I don't know if you may look a little depressed or something. That's what I mean by look, nothing physical look, right? Or health. So the language to help shape, I mean, you know that hokey bullshit, positive affirmations and saying things that'll gas somebody up, sincerely though. Right? Because are you blowing smoke up my ass, are you gassing me up just to get something or is it really sincere? Right. And since we're talking parent child, it's important to let your children know that what they're good at they're damn, damn good at, and if it's in their pocket, it's in their pocket. Right. And not to doubt that. And even the things that they aren't good at still fricking try them. That's okay. And it's okay to not be good at something. Right? Yeah.

Dr. Dave:

Yep. It's all about what you learn. So as we're trying to shape this culture, right, with language, I think it's such an important aspect of where we live, where we work, the whole community aspect of it. So I'm trying to figure out what ways, what language could we use to help build up our culture in such a way that it's we have that tone of acceptance and the tone of invitation and voice of acceptance and there's empathy, that we walk in there and you go like, you have that song from Friends, we want to go where everyone knows your name. I'm being hokey, right?

Tracy:

Oh, you mean-

Dr. Dave:

That's culture.

Tracy:

No, that's not Friends. That's Cheers.

Dr. Dave:

That's Cheers.

Tracy:

Yes.

Dr. Dave:

Right. Cheers. It's Cheers. That's right.

Tracy:

It's Cheers. Right.

Dr. Dave:

It's Cheers. Right. Do you think of that song in your mind every time I want to go where everyone knows by name. Right. And so that is a language that's helping to shape a certain and culture, right, in Cheers. So how's that coming across in your world or in your mind of what language we could use to build that up more, beside Norm sitting at the end of the bar, give me a beer.

Tracy:

Hey Dave, that's what we're doing. You walk in and everybody says, Dave.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah. Or Tray.

Tracy:

We all know this inclusivity, right?

Dr. Dave:

Yeah.

Tracy:

Duh.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah, but I think not just the feeling of, but the language of, right? So you come in you go like, I'm Tray, what's going on? Big hugs. It's like, lovely earrings

Tracy:

Okay. Enough with the earrings.

Dr. Dave:

Come on.

Tracy:

And they don't match. I don't know if you noticed.

Dr. Dave:

I didn't even know that.

Tracy:

This one's smaller than this one because I lost each pair of the opposite.

Dr. Dave:

Now I can see, now I can see.

Tracy:

So I'm just wearing them together.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah. But I think there's some cool stuff going on. I was just thinking about to Steve the other day and allowing your sons bandmates or friends to come hang out at your crib. Right. And to me, what was that language all about? I could just imagine what Steve was saying to them to shape this culture. Like, hey man, it's cool. You belong here. Right. I wonder what he was saying to them. Did he tell you?

Tracy:

Yeah, I don't even know if it was the language. It was the feeling. It was the vibe, it was the-

Dr. Dave:

The vibe.

Tracy:

Yeah, they got here and no one was home so we let them know how to get in the house. And young dude went and took a shower and set off the smoke alarm and it was hilarious. Right? So he texts us and he was like, I set off the smoke alarm, blah, blah, blah. And we both just responded laughing because it's something our son has done often in the past.

Dr. Dave:

Right. Yeah.

Tracy:

Right?

Dr. Dave:

Yeah.

Tracy:

I think it was just being able to be for him to text us and be like, oh, crap, this is what I did or communicate with us instead of through our son in order to navigate how to do what they do.

Tracy:

So it was a vibe. It was our son or both of our children know them, them even extending that to their friends was already in the language that you belong. It's accepted. It's all inclusive. And they were from all walks, shapes, textures of the world. Right? And there were six of them.

Dr. Dave:

Six.

Tracy:

Yeah. There were six. So bedrooms, basement, everything was sleeping quarters. And I cooked all the meals and it was just really... I don't know if we said a whole lot to say yeah, it was a feeling. It was, you come in my house and you make yourself at home.

Dr. Dave:

That's beautiful because that just walks us right into the next topic about the power of nonverbal communication. Right. That there's a signal of love. You're talking about patience and kindness in an abundant way

Dr. Dave:

... that is widely available to all, so all of the understanding, right-

Tracy:

Yeah.

Dr. Dave:

... that is said in silence need no words.

Tracy:

Right.

Dr. Dave:

So when I'm thinking about nonverbal communication, let's talk about, how does that signal that you belong here. I mean, we kind of just touched upon it with those six beautiful creative people.

Tracy:

Yeah.

Dr. Dave:

You know?

Tracy:

Yeah.

Dr. Dave:

Just the laughter, right. The laughter alone itself.

Tracy:

Oh my gosh. The conversation around the kitchen table. And this isn't the first time we've hosted some colleagues of his. So it's just kind of a... if our children refer them to us or they stay with us, then they know and we know that it's all good.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah.

Tracy:

Right?

Dr. Dave:

Yeah. For sure.

Tracy:

So the nonverbal it's that openness, right?

Dr. Dave:

Yeah. And I'm sure it's also tone and pitch too, right? Because you guys didn't shriek at them.

Tracy:

Right.

Dr. Dave:

This probably was nice and calm. "Oh, that's okay. Let me tell you how you could solve this." Right?

Tracy:

Right. Well, no, I don't know if I... well, maybe I did some of that, so they-

Dr. Dave:

No, I can hear you, "What? You did what?"

Tracy:

No, no. Well, I think in the... I mean, this is something I've had, this muscle I've had to grow because in the past, my house, I was very protective of my house and pretty anal about how you move in my house and what happens within that space. There are still some guidelines that I have, right.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah. I know.

Tracy:

But not... Shut up, but I'm not as... I'm much more open now, not as rigid as I was, but I had to grow that muscle. And I think that's important to say, because if it doesn't come natural to us and it's a problem for other people, we have to examine, what's making us do those things. So is it, we decide if it's something we want to adjust or if we are going to really stay steadfast with it? And that is a nonverbal thing as well, right?

Tracy:

Because if somebody comes into your space and you are non-verbal and I do this with clients a lot, if it's... I mean, we know the arm folding thing, right? When we just fold our arms, and if I'm standing here with you and I'm doing this and we're talking, I am so disinterested, right? That's a nonverbal.

Tracy:

But if I'm here and I'm engaged and I'm there and I'm open to what you're saying... And as older people, I guess, because all of this is multi-generational, we may need to be more mindful of listening instead of coming off as, I know, because I'm older, and that all that non-verbal stuff comes across and facial expressions and body language. And I mean, yeah.

Dr. Dave:

You rolled your eyes, Tracy.

Tracy:

Right. You know?

Dr. Dave:

[crosstalk 00:25:34].

Tracy:

I have done that a lot with you.

Dr. Dave:

Yes, yes.

Tracy:

I will admit in our interactions.

Dr. Dave:

Well, because we know each other so well that we get to be like who we are with each other, right?

Tracy:

Right, right.

Dr. Dave:

Yes.

Tracy:

And then how do you respond to that? When I roll my eyes, you roll yours back. Or you're like, "Whatever," right?

Dr. Dave:

Yeah.

Tracy:

And there's that belonging because we feel as if we belong in [inaudible 00:26:04]-

Dr. Dave:

Yep, yep.

Tracy:

We can do those things. Then when there's conflict, we can talk about that, right.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah. I mean, that's the beauty of belonging, of being able to create that space. So looking at the flip side of that, now it's like, how about nonverbal communications that will make people feel like they don't belong? That's another aspect and I notice sometimes, that it's where I am not giving them my full self so I'm partially in, and I'm not fully in, and then my head has turned somewhere else. So, it's some of those non-verbal communication signals that I like to hear more about us just to explore. What are some of those things that really get people feel like, "Oh, geez, I better go somewhere else"?

Tracy:

What does that make the person feel like? How does it make you feel when you walk into a space? How do you read if you belong in that space, when you walk in? How do you read if you don't belong in that space when you walk in?

Dr. Dave:

Well, I could tell you just from working in the tech space for a very long time, right? I mean, man, I used to live in Wisconsin. Wisconsin. And being an African American man from the Caribbean, walking into a space where I'm like the only black person in the software company, you get the looks, you get the cold shoulders, you get all of that, you know? And so you pick up on the vibe that like, "You really shouldn't be here. You don't belong here, man." Yeah. So I know what that's like. Just having those experiences, not only in Wisconsin, but also in Chicago and California and all over the United States that have had those experiences, because it's just like, "Hey man, what are you doing here? We don't have many of you doing the kind of work that we're doing, and this is really for us so you don't really belong here," right?

Tracy:

Yeah. So what about the subtle, the more... Not that that's not subtle, but what about the times where you may feel as if you belong and then something happens that makes you go, "Huh? I guess I really don't."

Dr. Dave:

Hmm. Well, those subtle stuff are like crazy, right?

Tracy:

Yeah.

Dr. Dave:

And how it shows up. So it's interesting. Sometimes you're like... Someone invites you into a social setting outside of work or, and you're in their space. Then you hear the whispers. You kind of like inadvertently on the opposite side of a wall and you hear the whispers that are coming at you about like, "What? I can't believe they feel this way about me. I thought we were cool." And you realize that we aren't cool really, you know?

Tracy:

Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Dave:

So, that shows up, or even in terms of withholding information in your workspace. Hoarding information for power. I mean, that's just another form of nonverbal communication that makes you feel that you don't belong. So yeah. I mean, it's many experiences with this.

Tracy:

Yeah. And how do you navigate that? How do you work with... because you have to build up some kind of armor to that so that it doesn't cripple you so that you can keep moving forward. Like what we're talking about. You need to keep moving forward. How do you navigate that?

Dr. Dave:

I think my sense of belonging growing up in a space where I was always encouraged to like, "Hey man, be the very best that you can be and no matter what. The sticks and stones could break my bones, but words could never harm you," is kind of the language that I learned growing up. So, "Hey man, go out there and be the very best."

Dr. Dave:

And it helps you to build up what I call the id, your ego. I mean, and that id has been a great source of protection against some of that negativity that you may run into. So that's just the work that has happened over the years is, I believe that if I'd grown up in a different space where I had to endure some of this negative harshness all my life, it would be different, but I grew up in a space where that wasn't the case.

Dr. Dave:

I mean, sometime I talk about knowing my, what I would call, like knowing speedy George, who was a police officer, but who would come and talk to us about different things when we were kids. Knowing the governors and people of color that makes you feel that, "Hey, you know what? I could get to that level and I could be damn effective no matter what, and in spite of all of the negativity." So that has been helpful to prepare me to deal with the nonverbal communication, even the verbal communication that people want you to feel like you belong,

Tracy:

That's really good because it sounds like from your experience, you've had people who look like you in power positions-

Dr. Dave:

Yeah, yeah.

Tracy:

... and in important government, city-

Dr. Dave:

Yeah.

Tracy:

... even companywide positions because of the area you grew up in.

Dr. Dave:

And I think even more important, your teachers.

Tracy:

And teachers, yeah.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah. I mean, I think... Well, you think about it. A third of your day as a kid is spent with your teachers, right?

Tracy:

Right. Right.

Dr. Dave:

... and your peers, and I think that was essential. Even the first experience was in Catholic schools with those nuns, but you still also had a great mixture of what they call lay teachers, who were teaching in all Catholic schools that gave us a different sense of who we are.

Tracy:

That is really interesting because I feel that parallel because I went to Catholic grade schools and we had teachers that looked like me. And it was like, when I hear about... Because I was a college professor for many years, and one of the inquiries that I would ask my students, or one of the questions is, when was the first time you had a teacher of color? And

Tracy:

And, for both black and white students and not just black and white, but for many ethnic groups, I was their first teacher of color and this is college. We're talking you're an undergrad in college in freshman, sophomore year, first time you've come across a teacher of color.

Dr. Dave:

And, I could see that especially where you live. Where you live makes a big difference, that centering space.

Tracy:

So, that is really beautiful to hear that you had that experience, so that you could build and be able to flex that muscle when you came into spaces where you weren't quite accepted, or somebody was talking about you on the other side of whispers that you heard, and I don't know if we're getting into that, but I'd be really curious to know what those whispers said, what was being said.

Dr. Dave:

No, but it's interesting. Some of the whispers it's like, I don't know who the hell he thinks he is. He's a blah, blah, blah, the N-word with E-R, instead of A, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, about this person. I'm going like, "What is that all about?"

Tracy:

Wow.

Dr. Dave:

But, you build up your armor to be able to sustain some of that, and it still could be harmful to you, right?

Tracy:

Oh absolutely.

Dr. Dave:

If you keep getting all of that dumped on you, it starts to chip away at your armor. If you don't have a space to replenish that, that place of belonging, it's really hard.

Tracy:

Which goes back to that home life where we started and family of origin and the family you've made in your world at that point to belong there and to get that love because what we think psychologically is if the job is shit, that can be handled if everything else is going supportively for you. I don't want to get into how much is good and what's well, and what's not well, but supportive. If you've got supportive home life and relationships and all of that, and work is crap, it's a bit easier to balance. It's still a thing, but it's a bit easier to balance, but what we know is that many people have a shit work life and a shit home life.

Dr. Dave:

Oh yeah.

Tracy:

Right, and that is a lot.

Dr. Dave:

Well, if they're not getting the goodness that they need, which is the language of belonging, this tone of invitation, this voice of acceptance and the sounds of empathy that we need just to sustain ourselves [crosstalk 00:35:52]-

Tracy:

And, compassion from others, for yourself... And, I think you talked about this, the levels of what those things are. Pity, something, empathy, and then compassion.

Dr. Dave:

Yeah, because it goes from pity, I feel sorry for you, to sympathy, I feel for you, to empathy, I feel with you, the compassion. I am here to help, and really walking through those levels of understanding the experience and how we could support each other, knowing which, I would say, emotions or actions, behaviors to introduce at this time for support.

Tracy:

And, I like support better than help, how can I support you, instead of I'm here to help because I think support... Help, it's a different connotation. Like, "Oh, you think I need help?" That kind of thing for some people [crosstalk 00:36:53]-

Dr. Dave:

You're killing me, Tracy.

Tracy:

But, support is however you want me to support you, I'm there.

Dr. Dave:

Now I need to change my mantra because my mantra is helping people to achieve their level of awesomeness. So, I need to change helping to supporting, man. Wow.

Tracy:

There you go.

Dr. Dave:

I'm in trouble. I even have it trademarked, so I need to go [crosstalk 00:37:13]-

Tracy:

Oh shit. No, you don't have to change that.

Dr. Dave:

I know I don't. I'm just thinking about it like, "Oh my God."

Tracy:

Oh shit, oh crap. No, it's just a different way to look at it. Health implies, I don't know, something else besides support for me.

Dr. Dave:

It's good stuff, but anything else you would like to talk about the language of belonging before we close out our convo for today?

Tracy:

No, I just really, really like this whole idea of belonging, and I think the more people define what that means for them, it may be easier to seek it out. And, I always want people to go with themselves first. If you feel like you can be your best friend and that you would like to be around a person like you, that's good. If you feel like, "Ugh, God, I wouldn't want to hang out with me. I'm a whole lot," if that's the thing, start working on loving yourself more and feeling like you belong to you, to who you are.

Dr. Dave:

Tracy, thank you so much. So hey, thank you for listening to the KnolShare with Dr. Dave Podcast. Our conversation today was about the language of belonging. Look, language is important to feel a sense of connection and belonging to one's self. Belonging is a basic human need. It's an important part of who we are and how we could find identity, so I hope this learning experience prompted you to seek, to discover more ways of finding your level of awesomeness.

KnolShare with Dr. Dave Podcast is streamed in Spotify, iTunes, Audible, and Google Play.

I'm always going to give a shout out to my niece, [Kayanna Brow Hendrickson 00:39:13] for dropping the music for this podcast, and

this podcast is copy written 2022 by Dr. Dave Cornelius and knolshare.org,

so thank you for listening and stay tuned for our next episode of belonging and healing as we continue to share our stories and experiences.